Discipline and Boundaries

Last Fri mummy was on leave and took you out to join Aunty Sarah and Hannah for shopping and lunch. I reminded you on our way to Great WorldCity to listen to mummy, cannot jump and run around the mall and must eat lunch. You nodded and mummy was happy to see you understand my instructions. I have no choice to lay these rules for you becos you are very active and will become more wild and active if left uncontrolled. You disappointed me becos you behave to the contrary and making rage for that day til the next day.

When we reach there, you spotted one helicopter ride & sat on it, then we saw Aldrick coming out from Kenny rogers & you played together with him for a while. You were quite obedient to come down from the ride and we met Aunty Sarah & Hannah in WH store. Both of you are playing and running around in the shop until suddenly I realised you are out of my sight. To my dismay, I saw you on the helicopter ride. I put down all my shopping items and run out and pull you over to my side and question you for not asking permisssion to come out & that it's dangerous to be alone without mummy. You argued back rudely to me. These are the followed on silly things you have done that day.
1. Refuse to leave the helicopter ride when we are going to find a place for lunch.
2. Mummy give in to buy M&M chocolates to lure you to eat lunch, halfway during the lunch, you spilled the chocolates and insisted me to buy a new pack for you. The good part is you ate lunch so I simmered down a little bit and brought you buy a new pack.
3. Ask you go toilet, you refused and only after much askings and seeking daddy help to talk to you, then you finally drag yourself to toilet.
4. Insisted to have the mcdonald's kids meal free toy, the bee movie, the warp character when the outlet do not have that. You screamed and cry very loudly when mcdonald staff ask you to chose the available toy. The funny thing was when daddy came over to fetch us around evening time, you chosed the toy without any fuss. So why you are so difficult on mummy ?

I am so angry becos you simply do not listen to me and making even more rage when you are rude. I cannot tolerate such misbehavior in you. You disappointed me becos you behave to the contrary and making me raged for that day til the next day. I did not talk to you that day and you can sense I am very angry becos I did not smile at all to you.

The next day, I attended a parenting seminar "Discipline and Boundaries" in your school. Topics covered are so relevant to me
* Why do children misbehave ?
* What is appropriate discipline ?
* How to we shape a child's character without breaking his spirit ?
The main things I learned is discipline is not something you do only when you are angry, scolding and punishment. Effective and positive discipline begins with proactive parenting which means
1. Teaching and providing instructions before things happen
2. Establishing guidelines, boundaries, rules & expectations
3. Equipping our children with skills on how to behave and interact with the people around.
4. Teaching values and building positive good character values
5. Practising appropriate behavior
6. Positive reinforcement thru catching them when they are doing what is right, even for little steps of improvement. Praise and Encouragement
7. Begin with polite requests. Use "I" statements
8. Correcting any violations through immediate consistent enforcing of
a. natural consequences
b. logical consequences - withdrawal of privileges
c. spanking
Child must understand why he was disciplined.

Well, I did not really absorb in this seminar becos I still have not got over your incident.